it seems in truth i’ve found hope
a reason to the rhymes
dollars in those nickels and dimes
wings in the birdcages
warmth in the heat hazes
cause to smile was initially a sin
a celestial dance in the wind
talk this out while i’m singing
wake up though i'm still dreaming
the seasons are changing
slight shifts in the wind
paint those windows shut
insulate the frames
prepare for the cold
buttoned up embedded with warmth
portraits hung delicately on the walls
familiar faces, talismans of heat
now, i’m
inking swans on my left arm
for resilience and grace
phoenixes on my right
for rebirth and strength
i won’t need the porcelain dolls
dancing around Taj Mahal
there are answers
pinnacles of all the winters that i’ve faced
all of those harsh frosts realized in one wind
leaving me in stone,
gazing at the evidence
peering at the puzzle finally completed
observing riddles i had written as a child
then read only to be confused
now i’m breaking down doors that were once barred
translated the poetry i scratched into trees
every blessing and sin
seems to have warrant
a reason to the rhymes in my skin
true merit expressed in these pains
salt in these tears
there are some moments
when my vision gets blurred
irksome little daisies in my eyes
ivies gripping weakly at my ankles
a few days out of the week
my legs get a little shaky
frail arms tensed with effort
holding on to that cigarette full force
a few months out of the year
i can barely hold myself up
iron and steel welded to my bones
weighing me downstream
it’s been decades
since i could see in front of my face
years since i’ve felt something real
the incandescence from that candle long gone
only groping and stumbling around in the dark
searching for
wells full of fresh water
forests bathing in leaves
or maybe, another pair of friendly hands
looking for something familiar
a crowded street of strangers
framed in unflattering light and weather.
they will never look better
individual epitomes of perfection
physical embodiments of my prescription
angelic or damaged, saint or sinner,
yet another antibiotic for this sickness
see, i have these demons
that enflame your flaws
irritate your skin and tighten your throat
leaving you with stuttered responses
voids, gaping holes in your body
a highlighter of negativity
moments later there are no strangers
simply rain clouds dissipating
raining tears falling short of their targets
the next morning there’s
a chilling comfort in being alone
when it’s all you’ve ever known
with candles lit
the music low
it’s all covered in snow.
momentarily it’s easier to breathe
with the walls expanding graciously
those tsunamis leading the assault on my bones
have calmed to swells
and Katrina’s sighs aren’t so earthshaking
just a little depressing
the seasons are changing
and i’m limbo’d between heat hazes and morning frosts
wearing heavy boots with a light head
an infant weightlessness
hopeful flutters coupled with moments of panic
slivers of faith that break off in splinters
leaving scars, memories, testimonials
and, sometimes,
i think i’m getting better
little wings erupting under my arms
resenting my eternally stone feet.
